Picky Eater

If you have spent any time with me and my kids that lapsed into a meal, you may have noticed that my precious oldest Caden, while positively perfect in almost every area of his life, happens to be a picky eater. Now, I don't mean he doesn't like green veggies like many other kids, I mean. P I C K Y
And if I were watching another mother interact with a picky eater like this, I would probably judge her and think to myself even though I know better that, "The reason that child is like that is because the mother is enabling his behavior." I've never been told that by anyone but my mommy guilt meter replays this message in various times throughout my days.
And I happen to know the worry that "your kids are behaving in certain ways is your fault as a mom" concern is not just mine...

Anyway, Caden is soo picky. Most days, I make the best of the healthy options of food that he does enjoy eating, while still including items such as non-square carrots, non-chick fil a nuggets, and other vegetables on his plate even if he won't eat them. Along the way of this journey, I've tried making games out of trying new things, giving him fun dipping options, using toothpicks for added interest, making him sit at the table until he tries one bite, asking him to at least lick the "new" food, making sticker charts, and yes, on occasion, forcing the food into his mouth. I draw the line at physically spanking him or threatening him with some sort of horrible punishment like that because I don't agree with treating your kids like that over eating. Its not my style of parenting.

So, want to see what I mean? Here is a little nugget of last night at 5pm...


Most nights I'm flexible and let Caden eat whatever healthy options he usually does, but last night enough was enough. After this clip he sat at the table and I told him he couldn't get up until he ate, actually ate (not licked or took a microscopic bite) of one entire piece of pasta.
He pouted, he sat, he told me he was full, he told me he was hungry for something else, he cried while I asked him what it was about the pasta he didn't like. He said it was yucky even though he hadn't ever tasted it. We talked about it calmly. I used a harsh voice. I offered to cover it in chocolate, whipped cream (yes, that is not a good parenting solution I know) And two hours later he was still sitting at the table.
I started to get concerned about handling bedtime and having to have him wake up the next morning and sit back at the table. So, I set the kitchen timer for 10 minutes and in the most serious voice I could muster said, "Caden, you have 10 minutes to eat that noodle." He said he needed privacy, I allowed him to carry his one cold, floppy noodle to the porch to eat it by himself. I shut the door saying, you have 9 minutes and 15 seconds. He walks outside, puts the noodle to his mouth and licks it as if it might have poison coating it. After realizing it didn't kill him he proceeds to carry the noodle around the yard licking it like a lollypop. Door opens. Caden, you have 7 minutes.
One minute later, "Mom, I dropped my noodle in the dirt." Sign, "here is another one, you now have 6 minutes. I peak outside, he has actually taken a teeny tiny bite, he sees me spying through the blinds and smiles. Then, 20 seconds later, "Mom, I dropped it again."
Ok, here is one more, you now have 5 minutes to eat the entire noodle. I shut the door, and peak through to see him actually take 3 real bites of the noodle. Angels from heaven start playing in my mind. He sees me spying again smiles mischievously and eats the rest of the noodle. I go outside and hug him, we high five, and we run and tell daddy. He says not to tell anyone else that he ate it. (I'm not counting this hour long blog rant, don't tell him)

I have no idea what I would have done if that timer would have gone off with that darn noodle still in his hand. But it worked, so I'm not going to worry about it. I'm sure there are other ways to accomplish this victory. I could have spanked him for not eating it after a while. I could have ignored it until he was 18. I could have deprived him of all food for days until he was hungry enough for the noodle. I do not proclaim to have the right answer, but just like everything in parenting, you find what works for you.
For me, this works. He chose on his own, not out of fear, to take a bite of that pasta. I'm hoping that tonight our small victory will translate to a shorter, less painful (for me) battle and we will be working towards more eating in the future. But at the very least for one night, I went to bed smiling, because I stuck to my guns, because he learned a good lesson, because even though it took us 2.5 hours to "finish dinner", there was one less noodle to dump in the garbage afterward.